The "elect"

I read a post yesterday about the elect of God. Basically the post leaned heavily on predestination as salvations way. It is a philosophy I wrestle with. It seems to bring so many characteristics to God that I cant seem to fit into my view of Him. But also I must confess that while I have ideas of the way God is...it may be more of the way I think He should be.
My picture of God is that one where He is merciful, compassionate, caring, not looking for His pound of flesh. He is constantly seeking all of His creation out, and that He wills none to perish. The idea that some are created for doom and an eternity frying in hell does not find place in my view of God. As a matter of fact I find myself somewhat repulsed by this idea. You see if He is that way then there must be a mean streak in Him that contaminates my view.
The jews were God's special people. God said he had chosen them and gave them many promises and blessings that went along with that decision. But in their knowledge of being special there seems to have come an arrogance with it. They seemed to elevate themselves above the samaritans and a host of other folks who werent born into "the club" They graduated to a place of superiority over others because they were born into it, yet reveled in the arrogance of their birth. Then they thought themselves more righteous, and gifted, and with that came the right to dismiss others thoughts, perceptions, and lives simply because they werent the same.
All of this seems contrary to how I see God. Yet I see people today who do the same thing because people are different from them in one way or another. The danger in this is discounting someone else because of this arrogance. Rationalizing not giving them our best because they are not valuable. Not loving them as I love myself because through all that rationalization, the underlying truth is I think im better than them.
God draws near to the humble, but opposes the proud.....I have been told that humility is the ability to see oneself in a very accurate light. I want to be "elect" but I cant stand the "exclusion" that comes with it. If Jesus died for all.....doesnt that make us all elect? And if we all are "elect" than there really is no such thing. I believe God has people He has work for them to do...but I believe that applys to all of us....and to say one has a more special work than another leads again to pride and arrogance. My work is not any worse, or better than another, My sin is not any worse or better than another, but my attitude, my humility, and my thoughts are up to me... and I have to be careful to not take pride in even these things. It really helps me to love people when I can see them with value, and not overrate myself.....peace.