Seasons

I feel im coming to an end of a season in my life. It has been an awesome time for me, and ive learned much from this season. It has changed me much from the inside, and has given me tremendous joy. It could be one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It has been some of my greatest struggle...and some victory. It has been a season of pain...emotional pain that at times I thought would overwhelm me. It has also been sprinkled with breakthrough and joy....almost perfectly timed to get me to the next step. This season has taught me that I can do things I didn't think I could.....and also there are things I shouldn't do that I did. It has been a season of courageous activity, and cowardly hiding. It has been a season of seven years, yet moment by moment. In it I have witnessed much about death, and yet received glimpses of life, and life abundantly. I have seen the enemy appear to win, only to find out he didnt....and his loss was a crushing blow due to the timing of God's victory. In this season I have seen the denial of God to the last breath....such arrogant pride and rebellion that becomes a fortress of denial stronger than any structure that exists I am aware of. I have watched saints go to heaven, and sinners go to hell. The dying process of a person be a beautiful process....and another person be one of the most horrific things I have ever witnessed. I have watched God guard his faithful to the end...and I have seen God reach out to some to the very end, only to be denied.
I think the season I have been through has disrupted me, and yet has solidified me in so many ways. I watch as people debate back and forth, given the freedom of free will. I have watched as they strive to make their interpretation truth for all, sometimes truth for one is enough. Important things have become trivial in this season, and yet other things have become so important. I have seen my best thinking come to nothing, and in that happening God's word proven so true, right down to the last comma and exclamation mark.
I entered this season a young man, and in ways I now feel so old. Yet in this season He has made my old to be new, surrounded me with hopelessness, and then filled my heart with faith. I have been run over with my theology, only to be lifted up and start fresh again. This season has seen such failure...and yet I never knew such success existed.
In the end...I think its hard to let go...we get so used to a certain thing that we hang on to it until the very end because we think it has become a part of who we are. I heard someone say the saddest thing you will ever see is a person trying to live out a season that God has ended a long time ago. But I know if God is ending this season, its because He has a new thing for me...and I want to be in His season...not mine. So God...have Your way, because I know your plans for me are good, and in that I do trust...I give you permission to change my life.