Im doing a funeral today. I have mixed feelings about it so as I blog this might not make alot of sense. Sometimes to work out these feelings I will write....sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesnt. My friend Marty is a new convert. He had a spiritual awakening about two months ago. God did a miracle in his life and got him out of a tough situation. We had prayed for God to intervene and God exceeded our expectations. Ever since then Marty has been attending church, reading his bible, and growing in the Lord. It really blesses my heart to see it.
Last week he called, frantic and upset. His mother had a stroke, and was on life support. The doctors called it a massive stroke and it appeared that she would not regain conciousness. They said if she did she would probably be in a vegetative state...alas all hope seemed to be gone. Marty asked me what to do.... i replied pray...pray hard and ask God to heal her. I had prayed for her heart about 6 months ago when she was having heart problems and she had been blessed by the Lord, so now it was time to pray some more.
Marty prayed, and he prayed, and he prayed. After three days his mom actually showed some slight improvement and was communicating with others by squeezing their hands. Then just as suddenly she lost all brain activity, slipped into a coma, and died the next day.
My heart hurts for Marty...I see the confusion in him. I see the disappointment, and the hurt, and I cant help but wonder what he is thinking. When God says no, and you dont expect it, and He says no in such a critical time.....sometimes its hard to swallow.
So today im going to talk about it. Im going to try and encourage, give hope, reiterate the importance of being ready for such a day....but im feeling very hollow about the whole thing. The truth is for us left behind its a very painful time, and sometimes its difficult grasping the God of all comfort.
100 years from now, none of this will matter. God's word will reign just as it does now, I will see it clearly then. There will be no more suffering, no more tears, no more pain. Marty will be with his mom...ill be with mine, and we will be with God. Jesus will explain things to me I didnt understand, ill probably see I suffered mentally because of my lack of understanding. The truth is Marty's mom graduated to heaven.....I can see her in her cap and gown, waving at me with her diploma in hand as she walks into the arms of the Father. Im happy for her....but for some reason im still sad inside....maybe im thinking more about myself then i should....peace.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
These words matter, Nelson. You have grappled well with the balance between giving God His sovereign place and hurting before Him at the same time. This is where we see the wonder of the cross, for there God dealt with what you're dealing with: knowing that His plan is His plan, and hurting through it all the same.
ReplyDelete